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]-[ u ]-[ ~ \X/ o \X/You Can't Fake Nonsense May 11 Confucius Say"By three methods we may learn wisdom:
First, by reflection, which is noblest;
Second, by imitation, which is easiest;
and third, by randomized double-blind placebo-controlled studies, which is accuratest."
-Confucius April 04 Ophiuchus the Snake HandlerWhat's my sign?
I always thought I was a Sagittarius.
Turns out, I'm actually an Ophiuchus.
You see, the sun passes through 13 constellations in a year, not 12 as astrologers would have you believe. The constellation Ophiuchus the Snake Handler is there, in between Scorpius the Scorpion and Sagittarius the Archer. So if you were born between Nov 30th and Dec 17th, like me, you're an Ophiuchus.
In fact, all of the star signs are off, and have been so for centuries, due to the precession of the equinoxes.
But, no big deal - I'm still me, you're still you, and astrology is still crap.
 March 24 TX Health CentreThis is the logo I designed for the TX Health Centre in Toronto.
They offer massage therapy and acupuncture. So if you live in or near Bloor West Village, make an appointment!
 February 12 Happy Birthday, Chuck and Abe!Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln were born on the same day of the same year. In fact, it was 200 years ago today - February 12, 1809.
I wonder, what if they had been one and the same person?
His Galapagosburg Address might have sounded something like this:
"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that there is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved." February 09 Lost in TranslationTranslating between North American English and British English is a cinch. Automobile parts become apparel. For example, the 'trunk' is the 'boot' and the 'hood' is the 'bonnet'. Furthermore, 'exhaust pipe' is 'sweater', and 'seatbelt' is 'necktie'. No, not really.
In Bahasa Malay, the word for 'water' is 'air'. But don't worry about anything going down the wrong pipe, because the word for 'esophagus' is 'trachea'.
In French, 'bonjour' means 'hello', or literally 'good day'. It sounds a lot like 'ben zhu' which in Mandarin means 'stupid pig'. Those Sino-Franco teleconferences must be a riot.
January 18 Twist and ShoutI've been subscribing to Chiropractor Magazine for a while. I have a lot of back issues.
December 24 the Holiday the Earth Stood StillPeople of the Earth! Have a Very Merry Klaatumas and a Happy Gort Year!
 November 15 Jelly RogerOctober 08 08/08/08We got married on August 8th -- the 8th day of the 8th month.
Today is October 8th -- the 8th day of what was originally the 8th month. October was the 8th month of the old Roman calendar. But January and February were added, and so the other months were pushed back. September, October, November and December ought to been renamed November, December, Hendecember and Dodecember respectively, but whatever. I give up on the Romans and their numerals. So we've been married 8 weeks now. Seems like ∞.
September 25 Spacetime CartoonuumJuly 16 Hybrid Books1984: a Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Orwell
Alice Shrugged by C. S. Rand
A Brief History of the Time Machine by H.G. Hawking
Communist Meinkampfesto by Adolf Marx
Great Hunchbactations by Charles Hugo
Helterstiltskin by the Brothers Grimliosi
Huckula by Bram Twain
I, Hobbit by J.R.R. Asimov
Koranetics by the Prophet Mohubbard PBUH
A Tale of Twenty Thousand Cities Under the Sea by Jules Dickens
Twelfth Arabian Night by William Shakeherezade
The Wizard of Jaws by L. Frank Benchley
July 06 Not an Exact ScienceHere's a potential logo for a potential series called Not an Exact Science Show. Lots of potential energy here.
June 18 SkeptologoMay 06 Six Sixty SixTriskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number 13.
But Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia is the fear of the number 666.
It would be an awesome name for a metal band, but it would never fit on the back of a denim vest.
April 11 Eugene XEugenics is a social philosophy which advocates the hereditary improvement of the human race by controlled selective breeding.
Eugene X is the result.
March 11 Blivet or NotFebruary 12 StorytellingI've realized that pretty much every story conforms to the following structure:
1) Yoo-hoo!
2) Boo-hoo!
and
3) Woo-hoo!
As in:
Introduction (Yoo-hoo!)
Crisis (Boo-hoo!)
Resolution (Woo-hoo!) For example:
Boy meets Girl (Yoo-hoo!)
Boy loses Girl (Boo-hoo!)
Boy gets Girl (Woo-hoo!)
So there you go.
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